


Our Red and Blue Dynamic

by Skelepunk



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Mutual Pining, SK8, Sk8 the Infinity - Freeform, Skateboarding, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29961333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skelepunk/pseuds/Skelepunk
Summary: Langa has known since he first met Reki that he wanted to always be by his side, no matter what that meant. Unfortunately, with deep attachment comes deep connection, and for Langa, that connection has led to his feelings for Reki straying further and further from the path of friendship.Reki didn't really think of much else except for skating, which was how he wanted it. He didn't like getting caught up in the mess of life beyond. However, when he met Langa, the world outside of his comfortable bubble slowly started seeping in.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	1. Langa

"If you don't take care of your board, you're going to end up wiping out," he said, fiddling with the trucks on my skateboard. I didn't understand how all of that stuff works, and my board was a custom build, so a quick search online wouldn't help.

"Well, that's what I have you for, right? Taking care of me," I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "I mean my board!"

He smiled. "Yeah, I can't let my best friend get hurt. I mean, his board." He said. My ears grew warm while the other guys laughed.

"Ah c'mon, Reki, don't you care about him, too?" Joe elbowed his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. Reki's eyes left his work to scowl at Joe.

"Of course I do! I was just teasing." Reki said, returning to his task.

"Shouldn't you be taking care of your own board? I mean, you're the one that rides it," Cherry said, looking over his electronic-hybrid skateboard named Carla.

"I don't really know how," I shrugged, picking at a blade of grass.

"I've tried to show him, but actually skating seems to be the only thing he's interested in," Reki said.

"You're one to talk!" Miya said, receiving a feigned hurt expression from Reki and agreement from Cherry, Joe, and Shadow.

"If it isn't attached to a skateboard, you don't even notice it exists," Shadow taunted.

They continued to bicker, and I half listened, but I was mostly trying to subdue the blush creeping along my cheeks.

Would he even notice me without skateboarding?

The question had been playing through my mind for a few days. At first, it was just a passing thought, nothing more than a moment of consideration, and it was gone. Now, it had grown to be a constant echo, and I could no longer ignore the thought that, without skateboarding, I wouldn't be anything to him.

I chewed my lip, my eyes falling to Reki's skateboard at my feet. I pushed it from side to side, feeling the divots and bumps of the concrete through the wheels. Snowboarding didn't quite have the same feeling. I loved how I felt when I was snowboarding, but it was a more solo sport. Since Reki taught me how to skate, it had filled in the gap I'd been missing from snowboarding, and had given me a group of people to connect with.

Without Reki, where would I be?

I distantly felt something touch my shoulder.

"Langa? Langa, you okay?" Reki said, snapping me out of my trance. I looked to his hand just as he retracted it.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," I mumbled, "just thinking."

"Some pretty intense thinking, what's on your mind?"

I looked around to see all eyes were on me. I gripped the hem of my jacket.

"Uh, nothing much," I said, feeling self-conscious, "just school stuff." Reki raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't press.

"You were spaced for like, five minutes, what kinda school stuff got you that zonked out?" Shadow did not get the memo.

"N-no it's nothing," I stammered. My face started heating up again, making me more embarrassed, which in turn made my blush worsen.

"Oh I know that face all too well, you were thinking about someone, not something," Joe said, "who's the lucky mystery person that has caught lil Snow's eye?"

"Not everyone is constantly thinking about chicks like you, Joe." Reki said.

"I'm not constantly thinking about them! I think about other things too."

"Do you?" Cherry asked incredulously. "I didn't know your gorilla brain was capable of that."

I sighed a breath of relief now that the attention was off me, but could still feel a lingering gaze. I looked over to Reki and met his eyes. He cocked his head. I smiled at him, looked around to the other guys, then back at him. He nodded, then went back to working on my board.

"I've got a performance to be at for 4 so I must head out now." Cherry stood.

"It's like, 1:30," Shadow said, "how can you possibly need that much time to get ready?"

"He needs to make sure he looks nice and pretty for all his adoring fans." Joe chuckled. Cherry smacked the back of his head.

"I, for one, care about appearances and punctuality," Cherry retorted, "speaking of, don't you have a shift to get to?"

"Yeah, yeah," Joe rose, "I'm gonna head out now, too."

"I didn't realize how late it was, I've got to meet with my agent soon," Miya said, "can you give me a ride?" He asked Shadow.

"Wha- why do I have to be your taxi?" Shadow grumbled.

"Because you have a car, and these slimes have something to talk about that they don't want to share." Miya smirked at me. Sometimes I couldn't believe how perceptive he was.

"Oh, really? Okay, I guess I'll head to the shop early-"

"-What? What are you talking about?" Reki cut in, attempting to cover for me, and failing.

"Yeah, okay, bye Slime Reki!" Miya said, waving as he walked off to Shadow's car, the older man right behind him.

I considered protesting against them leaving, but decided the effort was better put toward calming my nerves. They would never give in once a decision had been made. My eyes dropped to Reki's board again.

He didn't say anything, just went back to what he was doing. I waited a few moments, working up the courage to break the silence.

"Here," he handed my board over to me, "test it out, tell me how it feels."

"Oh, thank you," I took it from him and rolled his board toward him. He stood and popped it up. I got up, placing my board on the ground and rolled it under one foot.

"So?"

"It feels much better, less stiff," I pushed off and lazily drifted around, "thank you, it's definitely moving better."

He smiled, starting into a run and dropping his board, hopping on and skating along beside me. "You look more balanced now," he said, "wanna go for a ride?"

I smiled at him. He started off down the road. We went along a familiar route, one we usually take when we don't really have a destination in mind, just need to get out and about.

-

We ended up at a park near our high school. Reki settled down on a grassy area, pulling a pack of gummies out from his hoodie pocket, offering some to me. I accepted and sat down beside him.

"So," he popped a gummy in his mouth, "what's on your mind?"

"Uh, well," my face went hot, "um-"

"If you don't wanna tell me that's fine, too. But tell me if you're not gonna tell me, y'know?" He stuffed another handful of candies into his mouth.

"Yeah, I want to tell you, I'm going to, I just need a minute," I hugged my knees to my chest.

"Take as much time as you need. I'm in no rush." He held out the sweets to me again.

I let my eyes wander around the park to distract myself. A group of kids were playing a game on the playground. Some ran around in the nearby field with a soccer ball. A few people wandered the trails. I ended up settling on a couple out walking their dog, hand in hand, smiling and talking to each other, and just overall completely engrossed in one another. It seemed as though they were the only ones there, like the world couldn't touch them. I felt a slight pressure build inside my chest.

"I think I have feelings for someone," I said, "but I don't really know what to do about it. I'm not very good with this sort of thing."

"Really? But you're good at, well, everything. Have you ever liked someone before?"

I nodded a little, hugging my knees closer to me. I buried my face in my legs.

"Did it not go well?" He asked.

"Not really." I turned my face away from him.

"What happened? If you don't mind my asking."

"It wasn't mutual and we ended up not being friends anymore. That was a bit before I moved here but I lost my only friend because of it."

"Well, whoever she is, she missed out."

"Huh?" I lifted my head to look at him. He was happily munching away at his snacks. "W-what do you mean?"

"Dude, you're awesome! Any girl you ask out now would for sure say yes, they'd be stupid not to! I mean, you're Snow, the super cool dark horse of the skating world!" He punched the air as he said this. "She'd be lucky to be noticed by someone like you." His smile faltered just the tiniest bit, and for a moment, his tone sounded like there was a hint of sadness behind it.

"Reki, I-" I started, then stopped myself.

What am I doing? He thinks I'm interested in a girl. If I tell him, he might get weirded out and not want to be friends with me anymore. I can't go through that again. Not with him. I can't lose Reki.

"Yeah?"

"I-I'm not that cool."

"You're literally the only person that thinks that. But if you're looking for advice on getting a girl, you're probably better off talking to Joe, he's got serious game. I mean, I've only ever been on one date, and it was a flop, so as much as I wish I could be helpful in this situation, I'll probably end up messing it up for you." He brought a hand up to his neck, laughing it off.

I nodded at him to continue. He forced a smile and sighed, looking at the ground.

"The best I can say," he twirled a leaf between his fingers, looking away from me, "is to just be up front with her. Tell her you're interested and then ask her on a date. Worst case scenario: she says no. And if she says no, then it's her loss." He gave me a thumbs up and beamed at me.

"Be up front... okay, I think I can do that, thank you," I smiled back, "You're good at this."

"At what?"

"Helping me, giving me advice."

"I just told you what I'd want to hear. Again, I could be way off and it's a total bust, but that's what I think I'd do." He stretched, yawning. "Oh yeah! Can I know who she is? Does she go to our school? Do I know her?" He leaned toward me, giddily asking questions.

"I don't think I'm quite comfortable sharing that right now, sorry." I leaned away, putting my hands up.

"Okay, but I better be the first person to know what happens!"

"Okay, sounds good."

"Promise?" He held a hand out. I gently slapped it, following with a props.

"Promise."


	2. Reki

Langa had been spaced out for a while now. He only did that when there was something on his mind that he couldn't ignore. Normally, he'd be just as engaged in a useless argument as I was, even if he didn't really contribute. Right now, though, it's like he wasn't even here. I leaned over and touched his shoulder. He didn't react.

"Langa? Hey, Earth to Langa? Langa, you okay?" I said, gently pushing him. He blinked a few times and turned to look at me. I took my hand away.

Glad to have you back.

I tried asking him what was on his mind, but he didn't want to say, and I wasn't going to push if he wasn't comfortable. Shadow and Joe tried to get more out of him, insisting it was about someone he was interested in, and I diffused that as soon as I could.

He told me he'd tell me later, and that was enough to get rid of the anxiousness I was feeling. Well, he didn't actually tell me, but I'd learned to read him well.

I returned to fixing up his board, half paying attention to the other guys, shooting glances at Langa periodically.

I wonder if he does like someone? I mean, that wouldn't be that weird, but will he stop skating with me if he gets a girlfriend? That would suck. I hope he doesn't get- wait, what am I thinking?

I shook my head at myself.

"-slimes have something to talk about that they don't want to share." I tuned back in as Miya said this.

Damn, Miya, does anything get by you?

I tried protesting their departure, to no avail. I glanced over at Langa who seemed more tense than before, and went back to work on his board.

He'll talk when he's ready.

We sat there for a few minutes in silence. I finally made the finishing touches and gave his board one last look-over. I smiled, proud of my work.

It was by far my best creation. A completely custom shape and size to make it feel more like a snowboard, but without the bulk of a longboard. I'd even put a yeti decal on the bottom to remind him of the snowy mountains he'd been used to. The best part of the board was the front truck, which was unlike any other, designed to swivel instead of sitting as a static piece. It was completely unique, and absolutely beautiful, just like-

Langa? He still hasn't said anything, maybe I should.

"Here," I handed him his board.

-

I skated along the side of the road, swerving around cars and bikes parked along the curb. Langa was following right behind me, happily testing out the feel of his board again. I smiled at him. We hit a stretch of bare road and he came up beside me, smiling back. I threw my head back, tossing my arms out to the side, taking in the warm sun, the cool breeze, the feeling of flying down the road.

I wasn't entirely sure where we were going, but that didn't matter. Langa needed to clear his head.

We skated past our high school. I stuck my tongue out at it. I looked back at Langa to see his reaction, only to find him looking at me. I turned onto the sidewalk leading down the street to a park.

Not even skating seems to be doing the trick. Weird, skating is where he always looks the most free, but I guess this is something he's gotta talk out instead.

I settled on a spot under a big tree off to the side where there wasn't many people around. I pulled out a stash of candies from my pocket and offered him some, inviting him to sit and talk. After a while, he opened up about what had been bugging him. It was not what I was expecting to hear.

Langa... likes someone... someone was on his mind... someone is more important to him than skating?

"Reki, I-" he said, voice wavering.

"Yeah?"

"I-I'm not that cool."

I did my best to offer whatever advice I could, though I was no expert on this matter. When he said he wasn't cool, though, I had to suppress the urge to say everything on my mind.

Not cool? How can you not see how amazing you are? You are so talented, better than I could ever be. You're smart, you're kind, you're the best friend I could hope for, how can you not see that? How can you not see how perfect you are? Anyone you have feelings for is the luckiest person in the world.

"You're literally the only person that thinks that," I said, "But if you're looking for advice on getting a girl, you're probably better off talking to Joe, he's got serious game. I mean, I've only ever been on one date, and it was a flop, so as much as I wish I could be helpful in this situation, I'll probably end up messing it up for you." I brought a hand to the back of my head and forced a laugh, cringing at the memory of the "date" I had been on in middle school.

That's all I'll ever be, someone that gets asked out on a dare. Pathetic.

I forced a smile at him, but couldn't bring myself to meet the blue eyes urging me to continue. "The best I can say," I fidgeted with a leaf that had fallen beside me, "is to just be up front with her. Tell her you're interested and then ask her on a date. Worst case scenario: she says no. And if she says no, then it's her loss." I shot him a thumbs-up and a smile.

He thanked me and told me I was good at giving advice, though I knew I was definitely not qualified to be providing it. I started second-guessing what I said, and let him know that my advice wasn't worth much. I did my best to feign excitement and ask him about her, hoping if I pretended to be happy for him, maybe I actually would be. Yet there I was, relieved when he objected to sharing anything more. 

"Okay, but I better be the first person to know what happens!" I said.

Don't, it'll make you feel worse.

"Okay, sounds good."

Knowing will just hurt more.

"Promise?" I held a hand out for him to seal the promise.

Promises get broken.

He returned the gesture, slapping my hand and following it with a props. "Promise."

"Was that all that was on your mind?"

"That's pretty much it." I noticed him clutching the hem of his shirt.

We sat in the park chatting for a while. He loosened up as soon as we were off the topic of love interests, and we ended up back to our usual banter. The more we talked, the more we seemed to breathe away the tension that had built up. It was a relief seeing him come back to his normal self. And then something snapped.

"Hey, Reki?" He said after sitting in silence for a few seconds.

"What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could ask you something."

"Yeah, of course," I said, "is everything okay?"

"I-I don't know," he stammered, curling up into a ball, "I don't feel so good." His shoulders started shaking and he buried his face in his arms.

"Hey, hey," I scooted closer to him, putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into an embrace, "talk to me." I gently rubbed his arm. His whole body started trembling. I squeezed his shoulder, hugging him closer. He brought his hands to his face. I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not, but I thought I heard him muttering apologies.

"Hey, it's okay," I rested my head against his, "I'm here." my voice was barely a whisper. Langa was always calm, collected, unshakeable. It made my chest ache to see him like this.

I brought my other arm up to pull his head closer to rest on my shoulder. To my surprise, he uncurled, wrapped his arms around my waist, and pressed his face into my chest. I inhaled sharply, pulling my arms away, then hugged him back. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the rest of the world to disappear. I rubbed his back, holding him close. I felt a hum come from him.

"What did you say? I can't hear you." I pushed him away from me, hands on his shoulders, and the ache in my chest turned to hurt when I saw his face. His cheeks were flushed, his nose was running, and his eyes were red and puffy. He wore a pained expression, bowing his head to try and hide it.

"-can't," he squeaked out.

"Can't? Can't what?" I said, pushing the hair out of his face.

"Control myself, my feelings," he choked out.

"It's okay, you don't always have to," I said, sitting with him for a moment while he caught his breath. "Let's go to my house, okay?" I stood up, and without thinking, took his hands in mine and pulled him up. He squeezed my hands, hesitating for a moment, then stood. "Wanna go to mine?" I asked again.

He nodded, letting go of one of my hands to rub his face. I turned and went to grab my board, only to feel resistance, and it was then that I realized what had just happened. 

Oh. Oh my- OH MY GOD! We're holding hands, in a park, out in public! Oh god what if someone sees us? Wait, we just hugged for, like, five minutes. Oh god, oh god, oh-

"Ah! I'm sorry!" I wrenched my hand away, pressing them together and bowing. I chewed on my bottom lip, spun on my heels, and quickly scooped up our boards. I handed- or rather shoved- his board to him. "Uh, l-let's go, heh," I grabbed at my chest. My heart was hammering, and the ache from before persisted, but now, it was an empty, lonely feeling.

We made our way to my house. I tried for some small talk a few times, but neither of us was really in the mood. I knew I should have been trying harder to help him, but all I could think about was what happened between us in the park.

I shouldn't have freaked out the way I did. I mean, I was the one who put my arm around him first. I was the one who pulled him closer. I took his hands first. I started everything, so why did I panic? Why did I feel that way? 

The weight inside my chest only seemed to get heavier the more I thought about it. I pushed him away when I had been the one who reached out for him. I stopped walking, eyes trained on the ground, and watched Langa's purple Converse take another step, then stop in front of me. I opened my mouth to try to say something, but nothing came out. My free hand balled into a fist, my jaw clenched, my shoulders stiffened. Before I knew it, I was moving toward him, my arm finding its way around his middle, my head settling on his shoulder.

"'m sorry I freaked," I mumbled, then pulled away, retracting my arm.

"It's okay," he ran his hand through his hair, "can we still go to your house?"

I laughed. "Yeah, of course."

We were able to slip into a more comfortable, if still forced conversation to pass the time. I told him about the overwhelming family he was about to meet, including a verbal run-down about each of my three sisters and my mother. He listened intently the whole time, asking questions and muttering to himself whenever he wanted to remember something. He told me that he didn't have any close family other than himself and his mother, and that his dad had died just before they moved here, but most of their family lived in Japan, anyway.

Soon enough, he got to meet the family he had just learned so much about.


	3. Langa

We talked for a little while, and everything fell back into routine. No stress, no pressure, just Reki and me, the way we were before.

Except it wasn't the same for me. I desperately wanted to just tell him everything right then and there, about all of the feelings I had been having since meeting him, about those feelings being because of Reki, about me being gay. I tried so hard to put up a facade and just be normal, but the more we acted like all was right in the world, the more my heart ached. And then something inside me snapped.

"Hey, Reki?" I started talking before my brain had caught up.

"What's up?" He said. For a moment, time stood still.

Tell him. Tell him everything. Tell him that the reason you aren't okay is because of your feelings. And that those feelings are because of him. Feelings for him. Tell him that it isn't a girl you're interested in, that you've never been interested in girls. You need to do something, say something, or ask him something. Anything.

"I was wondering if I could ask you something?" He stopped looking around, eyes on me.

"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?"

Then the dam broke, and everything I had been hiding, suppressing, and ignoring came bubbling up and bursting out, and all control was lost. I felt my body start shaking and curled into a ball to try and stop the shaking. I tried to answer him, but I wasn't actually sure if I managed to make any words come out.

I heard him say something. He sounded so far away. I vaguely felt a warmth against me and realized that he was there, trying to reach me. I felt a tight grip on my shoulder, and if only a little, I felt more grounded. I pressed my face into my hands and once again tried talking, wanting to apologize. Then his voice was closer, right beside my ear, his breath tickled my skin. The hand that had been holding onto me pulled me closer to him. Before I knew what I was doing, I had my arms around him. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears streaming down my face. One of his hands rubbed my back while the other settled on the back of my head, bringing me in even closer. I willed myself to stop crying, gathering myself enough to say something.

"I-" I choked out, "-I'm gay."

"What did you say? I can't hear you." He gently pushed me away. I kept my head down so he wouldn't see how miserable I looked.

"-can't," I said, voice cracking.

"Can't? Can't what?" He brushed some of the hair from my face, fingers trailing down my cheek. I shuddered at the touch, and he took his hand away.

"Control myself, my feelings."

"It's okay, you don't always have to," he said, taking my hands. "Let's go to my house, okay?" He tugged upward. I squeezed his hands, closed my eyes, and focused on my breathing.

Stay.

I stood, using his hands to steady myself.

"Wanna go to mine?" He asked. I couldn't form the words to respond, nodding instead. I let go of one of his hands to wipe a stray tear from my face. He turned away to grab his board without letting go of my other hand.

Please don't let me go.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" He jerked his hand away and bowed, apologizing. He shoved my board into my arms and whirled around again, not giving me a chance to react. "Uh, l-let's go."

We walked mostly in silence. The few attempts at conversation felt uncomfortable and awkward, and quickly fizzled out. I tried meeting his eyes, but he refused to look up.

What have I done? I shouldn't have broken down like that, he doesn't need to be worrying about me. Now he won't even look at me. I've probably made him super uncomfortable, I doubt he even wants to still hang out with me anymore. He probably only did all that out of pity, I must be such an annoyance.

More thoughts crowded my brain. I could feel the tears starting to well up again. Then, Reki stopped walking. I came up beside him, waiting for him to say something. I inhaled sharply when his arm snaked around me.

"'m sorry I freaked," he said into my shoulder, then slipped away again.

"It's okay," I said. A weight lifted off my chest. I subconsciously ran my fingers through my hair, figuring out what to say next. "Can we still go to your house?"

"Yeah, of course." He laughed, and lead on. We fell into step with each other, time seeming to pass in the blink of an eye, and then we were at his front door.

First, there was a thud. Then a bang, a crash, a scream, and a chorus of laughter.

Reki had given me a brief overview of everyone I was about to meet. I had never been in such a busy house before. The air tingled with energy, all the regular sounds of a house I was so used to were drowned out by two rambunctious little girls causing mayhem in every nook and cranny possible. I couldn't help but laugh.

The floor was littered with all kinds of toys, homework, shoes, and miscellaneous treasures and junk. Making my way through the front hall was like walking through a minefield. Reki apologized for the mess, shoving stuff to the side. He kicked off his shoes, showed me where to put mine, and took my jacket while I tried to put my shoes neatly on the mat.

"Wait here," he said, then disappeared into another room. I looked around at the walls adorned with family photographs, picking out Reki in each one. Everyone in the photos had the same disheveled red hair and beaming smile. His twin sisters were always pictured looking identical, with the only difference being the side they wore their hair on. His other sister seemed more proper, but there was mischief behind her eyes. 

Reki returned and hurriedly ushered me to his room, both hands against my back, pushing me forward. We reached his room, and he slammed the door just as a voice started asking who was with him. He leaned against the closed door and sighed. 

"Sorry about that, the twins are a handful," he said, "The interrogation can wait until later." he dropped his bag on the floor and flopped onto his bed. He propped his phone up, loading a video onto the screen. He shuffled to the side, then turned to me, patting the bed beside him. I carefully placed my things beside his and lay down. He smiled at me and pressed play on the video. It was a of a skateboarder we regularly watched. He had already showed me this video before, it was one of the first ones he used to teach me beginner skating. I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking about when you first showed me this one. I was so bad." I said. He laughed.

"Yeah, you were," he said. "Now, though? You're... I don't even know how to say it," he paused for a while, then looked at me fondly, "You're incredible." My face went beet red. He bumped his shoulder against mine, and focused his attention back on the video. I returned the gesture, then settled in, bundling a pillow up under my head to watch. He pointed out a few tips about the skater in the video and her form. I grunted in response, trying to pay attention while my eyelids grew heavier.

-

My eyes fluttered open a moment later. Or what I thought it was a moment later. I blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the warm light filtering in through the yellow curtains.

Wait.

I bolted upright, taking in my surroundings, the events of the day rushing back to me.

"Hey," Reki said, causing me to jump, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, how are you feeling?" He was sitting up against the wall at the end of his bed.

"Hi, I'm alright," I rubbed my eyes, "sorry I fell asleep." I was feeling much better, except instead of being emotional and sad, I was groggy. 

"No biggie, you needed the rest."

"How long was I out for?" I drew the curtains tighter, stoping the sun from glaring into my eyes.

"Only an hour or two. Your mom called asking what you wanted for dinner and I told her we had it covered, I hope that's alright."

"Oh, yeah. You didn't have to do that, though, I don't want to impose." He waved the statement away.

"So," he said, "earlier, you wanted to ask me something. Am I allowed to know what?"

I thought for a moment, trying to recall what he was talking about.

Ask him something? Oh, right.

"Ah, yeah, I just wanted to know, what does skating feel like to you?" As soon as the words left my mouth I felt self-conscious about them. He looked at me quizzically for a moment then furrowed his eyebrows. "Sorry, it's a stupid question." He didn't answer. I waited a few moments, watching him think it over.

"Skating feels like freedom," he said, "It feels like what I imagine flying to feel like. It's like I'm soaring through the sky, and pushing off is when I'm beating my wings. When I'm skating is when I feel the happiest and most alive. I feel untouchable." He gazed at the skating posters tacked to his walls, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. 

"Is that what it feels like for everyone?" I asked.

"Oh, uh, I don't really know. I've never even thought about it until now, but I think that's how most people probably feel. I know that Cherry thinks of it somewhat the same as I do, but that's because it's a way for him to escape his life for a while. I'm pretty sure Miya feels that way about it now. I don't really know about Shadow and Joe, they seem to just do it for fun." He looked over at me, studying my expression. "What about you?"

What about me? What does skating feel like to me? How to answer that? I expected him to return the question, but didn't plan ahead to actually have my own answer. The truth is, skating for me is never the same. When I'm racing in S, I feel alive, adrenaline coursing through my veins. When I'm skating down the street or on my way somewhere I feel content. When I'm practicing and doing tricks I feel focused. But these can all slip away just as easily as they come to me, and it's always because of one thing. One crucial variable is the difference between skateboarding because I want to, and skating because I am expected to. Something so simple that affects every aspect of my life, and now he's asking me what skating feels like. 

Reki, when I'm with you, skating feels right.

"I'm not too sure," I said, stupidly.


	4. Reki

"I'm home!" I called into the house. I was greeted by a chorus of noises, as per usual. "Sorry about the mess in here, though it is always like this," I said, kicking aside a pile of assorted items to make space for our shoes. I haphazardly tossed my jacket onto the rack, then took Langa's jacket, hanging it properly. "Wait here," I said, starting off into the house toward the kitchen where I assumed the loud crash I just heard had come from. I entered to find my mother scrubbing away at a pile of dishes in the sink, and my two twin sisters running around the dining table doing god knows what.

"Hey, mom," I said, dodging the rampaging girls as I made my way over to her.

"Reki! How was your day? What have you been up to?" She smiled up at me, still working on the dishes.

"My day was alright, I've got a friend of mine here, is that alright?"

She stopped cleaning. Her eyes widened and she beamed at me. "Reki, that's more than alright! What's their name? Will they be staying for dinner? Can I meet them?"

"His name is Langa, and he had a rough day so I think we're just gonna hang in my room for a bit. He's probably going to be here for dinner. Do you want some help with that?" I went to reach for a brush. She smacked my hand away.

"No, don't be ridiculous, I've got this covered, you go spend time with your friend!" She spun me around and shooed me out of the kitchen. I assumed I was home free, but alas, the universe was not having it today.

"Reki has a friend over?" Thing 1 started.

"Really? Someone new to play with us?" Thing 2 responded.

"Nope! No, no, no, no!" I rushed out of the room to find Langa still in the front hall. I ran up behind him and started pushing him toward my room, praying we made it before the twins caught up. Just as we got through my doorway, one of them began asking who was with me, and I slammed the door shut before she could finish the question.

"Sorry about that," I said to a very confused Langa, "the twins are a handful. The interrogation can wait until later." I chucked my bag on the floor and collapsed on my bed, sinking into my comforter.

Alright, how to cheer Langa up? Well, skating always seems to do the trick, maybe there's a new video to watch? Nah, he won't be able to pay enough attention right now. An older video might work though...

I typed in the title to a video that I had shown him when we first became friends. It was just about basics, but he had been really interested in it, and it made him smile a lot.

Maybe it will make him smile again.

I loaded it up, then shuffled sideways to make more space for him to lay beside me. I patted the bed once I had moved over, and he accepted the invitation to join me. When he saw what we were going to watch, he laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked, well knowing what he was thinking.

"Oh, I was just thinking about when you first showed me this one," he said, "I was so bad." I couldn't help but snicker at that. I thought back to the amount of times he landed on his rear when attempting simple things.

"Yeah, you were," I said.

Now you fly higher than anyone I have ever seen. You're absolutely amazing, better than everyone else. Way better than me, that's for sure. Way better...

"Now, though? You're... I don't even know how to say it," I wanted to say so many things, some from a place of adoration and amazement, some from bitterness and jealousy. 

Why can't I be amazing like you? Why do you shine so brightly, while nobody even looks my way? Why can you reach beyond all expectations? Why are you leaving me behind?

The more I thought about it, the more I felt the urge to lash out, to blame him, to curse him for having something that I didn't. But with every one of these thoughts came a harsh sting inside my chest. 

No, this isn't about me, this is about him, his improvement. I need to be here for him, not chastise him for something beyond his control.

I looked over to him, and all of the icy, deprecating thoughts melted away. 

"You're incredible," I said. His face went completely red. I grinned at him, bumping my shoulder into his, and returned to watching the skater. I felt him lean his shoulder against mine, then watched him snuggle into the bed out of the corner of my eye. I pointed out how the skater in the video set herself up, mentioning how he could adjust and get better. He made a grumbling sound, and I caught his eyes slowly closing, only to snap open, and repeat. I turned the volume down a little to avoid disturbing him. Once his breathing levelled out, I turned the video off and sat up. I carefully placed my half of the comforter over him. His shoulder twitched and tensed as I brought the blanket over it, and I froze, waiting for his eyes to open. Instead, his body loosened, and I sighed out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Sleep well," I whispered.

I quietly made my way out of my room and back to the kitchen. The twins had since departed, and were now off causing mayhem elsewhere. My mother was just finishing up with the last bit of the dirty plates from whatever the girls had gotten up to. I went over to the drying rack, grabbed a hand towel, and started drying the rows of plates.

"Reki, I told you not to worry about those," she said, "you just hang out with Langa, okay?"

"It's fine, he fell asleep." 

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, he was exhausted, needed the rest."

"May I ask what happened?"

"Uh," I glanced over at her and received a warm, loving expression, "he's just got a lot on his mind, I guess. I don't really know all of it. Something about a girl, too."

"Ah, I see," she said, a hint of something in her voice that I couldn't quite place. 

Why did she say it like that? Like she knows something I don't. Did I say something wrong? All I said was that he was moody about a girl, what does that matter?

"So," she broke the silence in the worst possible way, "this girl, is there something wrong with him liking her?"

"What? No, of course not! Why would that be an issue? It's not my life, he can do whatever he wants!" I said, defensively. She raised an eyebrow at me, a knowing look on her face. "I don't like her, I don't even know who she is, he wouldn't tell me."

"Are you sure him liking someone doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it? I mean, as long as he still skates with me, then whatever, y'know? Nothing else really matters."

"Alright, well it's okay if it does bother you. That's a normal feeling to have when a close friend gets into a relationship. As long as you don't let it hurt your friendship."

"They're not together yet, and nothing between us will change." I paused, thinking about that for a second. "Right?"

She put a hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing it. "I can tell you really care for him. And if you mean as much to him as he does to you, then no matter what, you two should be just fine."

"Thank you." I wasn't sure how to take that, but some of the anxiety I'd been feeling had dispersed.

I finished drying the dishes, taking my time to not rush and let Langa sleep. I went back to my room, doing my best to stay silent, and was about to sit down at the foot of the bed when I heard a buzzing coming from somewhere near the door. I scrambled to find where the noise was coming from, tearing through my bag. 

Oh no, please don't wake him up. Please, please, please don't wake him up.

When I couldn't find the source amongst my own things, I looked to Langa's bag. I delicately picked through his books and other school necessities and found his phone in the bottom of the bag just as it stopped buzzing. I turned it on to see two missed calls from his mother, and a lock screen of a snowboarder in mid-air, gripping his board. I looked closer at the photo, it was beautiful. Snow gently drifted around the figure, the sun shining behind him made it look like he was glowing. Then I spotted a few strands of the figure's hair.

This is... this is a photo of Langa! Wow, what a beautiful shot. He's really-

My thoughts were cut off by the phone buzzing in my hand. I nearly dropped it as I desperately swiped to answer the call.

"Hello, Langa? Are you alright? Why haven't you been answering my calls?" His mother demanded.

"Hello, this is a friend of Langa's," I said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, "He's fine, he's with me at my house."

"A friend of Langa's? Who am I speaking to? Where is he?"

"Oh, right, sorry, My name is Reki." I slapped my forehead. "I'm a school friend, he's asleep right now, we were hanging out and went to my house and he crashed."

"Ah, alright. That's a relief to know he's okay, thank you for taking care of him. I was wondering if he'd be home for dinner?"

"Oh, uh, we've got that covered, I guess he fell asleep before I could tell him. I'm sorry about that, it's my fault."

"No, no, don't worry, if he's out and with his friends then it's no problem at all. Thank you, Reki. Tell him to give me a call when he wakes up."

"Yeah, for sure."

"Alright, bye-bye now." She said, hanging up. I sighed heavily, putting his phone back. I rummaged through my bag for my earphones and went to the end of my bed.

-

"So, earlier, you wanted to ask me something. Am I allowed to know what?" I asked. He just woke up, sleepy eyes wandering around my room. He looked at me confused for a moment, gaze out of focus. I couldn't help but smile at him.

He looks adorable when he's sleepy...

"Ah, yeah," he said, "I just wanted to know, what does skating feel like to you?" He curled in on himself slightly. 

What does skating feel like? It feels like, well, skating. Is it supposed to feel like something else? I suppose it does feel kinda like... like what I think flying would be like...

"Sorry," he said, "it's a stupid question."

It's not stupid at all.

"Skating feels like freedom," I answered, "It feels like what I imagine flying to feel like. It's like I'm soaring through the sky, and pushing off is when I'm beating my wings. When I'm skating is when I feel the happiest and most alive. I feel untouchable." I wasn't entirely sure how to answer the question, but as I said those words, they became real, they felt right.

"Is that what it feels like for everyone?" He asked.

I don't know, I didn't even realize that's what it felt like for me until just now.

I answered him the best I could, but I really couldn't speak for everyone else we knew. I doubted it felt the same for all skaters, anyway. I asked him what it was like for him. He sat quietly for a long time, staring at his hands. I started to wonder if he had even heard me, but the room was silent, so there's no way he didn't.

"I'm not too sure," he finally said.

After how long you just thought about it? What are you hiding from me? Why can't you tell me?

"O-kay," I drawled.

"Girls! Reki! Dinner!" My mother called.

"Coming!" I yelled back. I started to get up, turning to Langa. "Hope you're hungry!"


End file.
